Every time you ask me how I’m doing
I will usually say I’m fine
that I’m ok

Every time you ask me how I feel
I’ll mostly likely say I feel good
that I feel great.

And I am….
….when I’m with you.

All the other instances
with distances
between us,
I feel betrayed by no one but myself
that I can blame
this is insane
how I became
manifested pain.

This is how I feel:

I feel a fifty pound dumbbell weighting down my heart
Not letting it breathe not letting it love
Didn’t even let it start
Loving in the open
So now it loves, alone and in chains
in the dark, with no name,
No face, but that with which it faces you.

I feel so betrayed by my common sense
that our recompense for our possible(?) love would be our demise
For its no surprise,
that we both have needs
and each other ain’t it.

But I lied when I said this
I should die for the fact is
I need YOU to simply go on.